What I Choose....

Past few days,lot of things keep playing in my mind...Make me kinda stress and messy...From my owm personal prob,study prob,my parent divortion etc,etc...I try my best not to involved anyone in my probs...It's a habit to me to keep all probs inside rather than sharing it with someone else...Rather suffering alone...

It's not that I don't want to share with my frens or those who close to me...It's just a matter of trust and comfort...Someone that I can talk about all things is gone..It's almost 2 years since she is gone...I miss her so much...My late grandma,Hjh Esah who take care of me from infant till i'm 7 years old...She is my grandma,my mother for 7 years and my best friend...The other person is also gone from my life..She's still alive,but I only know her for 3 years since 2004...Lot things happen between both of us..Sad and happy things...But our time together is not long...Perhaps it's not the right time and the right place...Perhaps she is not for me...I'll always pray for her happiness,wish her all the best and may Allah always bless her...

I might need someone to share this and that...Perhaps I need one...But now is not the right time and right place...All those old memories is still in my head and my mind...So I think it's better for me to stay the way I'm now...Perhaps I still need to learn a lot of things about this life before I take serious responsibility...My responsibility to my family,to myself,to God and also those around me...I hope this will make me strong and keep me happy...I think it's better to live the life the way I'am now...Think about my priority to study and help my brothers and sister as the oldest son...I have to face the fact that they are part of my responsibility...May God give me strength and willingness to face all of this...

Last but not least,al-Fatihah to my late grandma...Best of luck to the only girl in my life since I enter MMU...and to all my frens and family,I wish you guys good health and succes...Perhaps I'll be alone till the right time come...Adios amigos ciaw....